“You Can’t Sit With Us!”

MEAN GIRLS…..do they really exist in the adult world?!  The answer is ABSOLUTELY.  

So many adult females have expressed that they feel like they are unable to establish close, genuine, healthy friendships with other adult females.  

Here are some things that people have relayed to me and that I have personally seen when trying to befriend another adult female:

1. The “Oh my gosh I love that bracelet where did you get it?!” Females

These are the women that smile at an unfamiliar female and compliment them in a passive aggressive or condescending way that is clearly inauthentic.  

2. The “You Can’t Sit with Us” Females

These are the females that clearly make you feel uncomfortable or not welcome to be near them until you walk away or until they lose patience and leave.

3. The “I can’t help it if I’m so popular” Females

These are women who give off a superiority complex that makes anyone new feel like they are not worthy of being a part of their group.

4. The “On Wednesdays we wear pink” Females

These are the girls that establish rules in exchange for friendship and who expect other females to do everything they say as a condition.

5. The “Let it out, put it in the book” Females–

These are the girls that say hurtful things about one another whether explicitly or passive aggressively via social media.  These girls post their own gossipy or degrading statements or encourage their other friends to post things along these lines.

Whether it is any of these “Mean Girl” interactions or other negative interactions, it propels a cycle of competition and instant dislike for any unknown female.   Interestingly enough, males don’t have this same competitive or catty mentality.  So why are females like this to each other?!  

The truth is, while a large percentage of females do behave this way, many others don’t.  A female that is  secure with herself knows that they don’t need to look at other females as competition but rather as supports or allies.

 As women, we all struggle with societal pressures with our appearance and how the world views us.  We do so many things to maintain ourselves and to present in the best way possible.  No one understands these demands and struggles like other females do and yet we act as though they are our worst enemies.

 There is no competition between you and another woman because you are both completely separate and unique in your own ways.  When you compete with another female in regards to males, they see that and are instantly aware of your insecurity and lose attraction.  If you compete with other females in regards to the work place, you appear weak and give off the impression that you don’t believe enough in your abilities to let your work speak for itself.

So a note to all women, there are enough men, enough jobs, enough situations that you will find the ones that are meant to be for you.  You can never have enough female friends in your life who will listen to you, support you, understand you and be there for you because they know your struggles and expectations.  So stop seeing each other as the competition, and start adding more players to your teams!